Many couples would have received counselling at one point or another in their marriage either as a precondition laid down by the institution conducting their marriage or as a personal choice to get a better understanding of their roles as husband and wife and how best to prepare for the commitments ahead. Whatever your intentions are when you decide to go for counselling either before or after your marriage, studies have shown that it is the ideal step to take if you both desire a fruitful married life together. However, some couples still prefer the traditional way of resolving their marital conflicts and would rather involve the help of family members which may cause more harm than good. Some family members can be judgemental or biased during the process.
Talking is therapeutic
One of the most common reasons why couples engage in conflict is lack of consideration for the other person and if one person is not able to recognise the strains their actions are putting on the relationship, it can quickly intensify and break down the peace in the home. In the words of the elders during traditional marriage counselling when one is behaving like a goat the other must retain the attitude of a sheep. Unfortunately, this guidance can be seen as a disparity in modern marriages as everyone is considered to have equal right to express his/her own opinion. Nevertheless, when communication breaks down in your marriage, it is advisable to seek the support of a professional marriage counsellor who will be able to bring both of you back on the same page again. Counselling is therapeutic as it focuses on your emotional needs and allows each person to speak their minds out without interrupting each other while the therapist listens attentively and studies your behavioural patterns too.
Counselling provides a safe space
The home can also become the place where anger and resentment are triggered if the situation has been left unresolved turning the space into a battlefield; trying to resolve your challenges in this same environment may pose a difficult task. Counselling can provide a safe space for you and your spouse to take your challenges away from the hostility of your domestic lives to a place that is calm and more relaxing. A good counsellor will create the space for openness despite the rage so that both of you can see the hidden mysteries behind your individual behaviours and become aware of the pains you are inflicting on each other as you step back into your home.
Counselling diminishes fear
When couples depend on family mediation in resolving their conflicts, it can become subjective rather than objective because the expectations in the traditional marriage settings can cause more harm than good in todays marital challenges. Also, a man or woman who has always been an intolerant person can become insensitive to the needs of his spouse and be intimidated by his/her feelings. Counselling can also provide the opportunity that eliminates fears and threats. Marriage counselling provides the most effective techniques you need to support yourselves through positive communication and continuous evaluation of your own role towards building a healthy marital relationship.
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